Nomadic Neil

I booked my ticket to Malaysia the other day (from there I’ll be travelling to one of the islands in Thailand). This means I really have to go through with my crazy plan and will have to get myself organized in order to be ready for my flight on the 18th of November. Doh!

But seriously, that’s a good thing. Doing it reminded me of the commitment and consistency principle I sometimes use. I think I first heard about this principle in Robert Cialdini’s book ‘Influence’. It goes as follows: “If people commit, orally or in writing, to an idea or goal, they are more likely to honor that commitment”.

I think this principle works because on one hand people don’t want to suffer embarrassment for not following through on what they say they will do, and on the other because people have a hard time acting in a way that they consider contradictory to their identity or personality. I think I’m correct in saying cognitive dissonance plays a role as well.

In the past I’ve used this concept to push myself to go on my last world trip, to go sky diving, bungy jumping, learn how to scuba dive and get on stage to play music in front of a crowd. All this, and more, despite being quite scared at the time. It’s such a great tool on so many levels. It forces you to really think about what you want to do, whether you are willing to stand behind your decision, how you’ll go about doing it and how you’ll communicate it to other people. Then you get  the benefit of social pressure pushing you along so that you don’t have to suffer being made fun of or thought of as weak.

So here’s a 3 step action plan to use the commitment and consistency principle.

1. Decide what you want to do.

Now you really need to be clear about what you want for yourself. Not for your teachers, parents, friends or society at large.  It sucks when you publicly commit to something that you don’t really want for yourself, you’ll feel resentment and it will drain you. In contrast it will be awesomely powerful when it’s a completely authentic personal decision as it will make you feel energized, powerful and alive.

2. Tell people about it.

You can do this in person or set up something public; like a website, blog or a note on Facebook. You might feel embarassed about your goal, dream or vision, because your really putting yourself out there and if they reject your plan then it will feel like they are rejecting you.

But don’t worry because it turns out that most people are more worried about what you think of them than whether your plan will really work. They may feign shock and incredulity. They may make fun of your dream or point out the flaws of your plan, but an hour later they’ll have forgotten about you and will have gone back to wondering what they are going to cook for dinner later and how they can best go about asking out Sally from the marketing department.

3. Go and do what you said you would do.

Because if you don’t you’ll feel like a loser, people will point and laugh at you and nobody will want to be your friend.